W EEKLY EDITION AUGUST 29, 2018
Joke of the Week
How big is my mother - in - law?
• She took her slacks to the dry cleaners and the lady said, "We don't do curtains."
• When she takes her girdle off, her feet disappe ar.
• We didn't have a sunken living room until she came to visit.
• Now we have a Persian throw rug – she sat on the cat.
• When she wears a white dress, we show movies on it.
• She ate our doormat – she thought it was a Triscuit.
• When she wanted a waterbed they put a blanket over Lake
Michigan.
• She went on the Scarsdale Diet — she ate Scarsdale.
• She wore a yellow raincoat and people yelled, "Taxi!"
• I asked her if she ever tried to lose weight and she said, "I'm
in a fitness protection program."
• After dinner her b elt doesn't buckle but her chair does.
• When she was a baby they didn't baptize her, they just
broke a champagne bottle over her head.
• When I asked her who she sat by in church she said, "Everybody."
• She once wore stiletto heels and struck oil.
• She has her own coordinates on Google Earth.
• She blew her nose and a c onstruction crew broke for lunch.
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'Pit Stop' Coming to San Fran
The streets will be squeaky clean
San Francisco is roll ing out a dedicated team whose sole mission
is to remove errant feces from the streets, according to Mot her
Nature Network . There is also the Pit - Stop initiative, which has
introduced a total of 22 clean and safe portable re strooms i n nine
different neighborhoods that have the highest reports of human
waste.
READ THE STORY