Issue link: http://psai.uberflip.com/i/918346
W EEKLY EDITION DEC 20, 2017 Joke of the Week The top 18 ways to confuse Santa Claus: 1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 3. Leave him a note explaining that you've gone away for the holid ays. Ask if he wouldn't mind watering your plants. 4. While he's in the house, replace all of his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly. 5. Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit! 6. Build an army of mean - looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas" and "Go away Santa." 7. Leave a note by the telephone telling Santa tha t Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home. 8. Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance he looked l ike a bear. 9. While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off. 10. Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says "For the Tooth Fairy." Leave a tooth out with a note that says "For Santa." 11. Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and s ay "Well, well. They always return to the sc ene of the crime." 12. Leave a copy of your Christmas list with last - minute changes and corrections. 13. While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed wire. 14. Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. G o outside, yell "Oh! Look! A dee r! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun. 15. Leave Santa a note explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard - to - read directions to your new house. 16. Leave out a Santa suit with a dry - cleaning bill. 17. Paint "hoof - prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue. 18. Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs. Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us." © Portable Sanitation Ass ociation International (PSAI) • 2626 E 82 n d Street, Suite 175 • Bloomi ngton, MN 55425 www.psai.org • 952 - 854 - 8300